Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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