she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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