she was so not down for the gang bang
Barsexuality is the new black.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
