Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
