No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
