i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize