i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
