I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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