He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize