well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
