Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
