why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My vagina is very pro this idea
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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