And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
