3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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