Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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