I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize