also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I don't deserve a penis
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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