Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
