I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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