Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
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