dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize