that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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