he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Randomize
