It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize