I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
