He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
