Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
