the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
