Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
