i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
