everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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