did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
time to smoke my breakfast
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
