If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
