We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize
