New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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