I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
