this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
