I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
how drunk are you?
Several
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
