i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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