You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize