I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
