I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
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