I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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