Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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