Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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