hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Blood and glitter go together right?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Randomize