Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
