What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
