just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
