u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
