Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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