You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
