he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
