i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
