So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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