@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
COCAINE IS GR8
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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