Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
