Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
