I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
