I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
