I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
