My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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