Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
