she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
