Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
