He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
