I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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