the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
