I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
