I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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