grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize