would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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