Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
