We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
