Buhtt sex?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
