So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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