Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
