The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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