Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
